A & N: Eternal Companions

Nick and Annie Together Forever They Love Each Other So Much, They've Started A Blog Together This Is Their Blog.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Another divorce. . . What does it really take?

So another one of my friends is getting a divorce. She did everything "right." She was faithful, temple-worthy, and found a spouse she thought she could be married to for time and all eternity (and that's a LONG time!). They were sealed in the temple, and less than 2 years later, their marriage is failing. Apparently he has some body issues (ie. he wants her to be a Barbie), and in honesty, she is--- now. She lost 100+ pounds but that left her with some unsightly skin in hidden places. She's not body conscious, but it's an issue for him. Hence-- the divorce.

As a newlywed and a soon-to-be-parent, I think about this and it makes me sad. I don't know that I have the "answer," but I do think Nick and I have something that works. We put each other first all the time. He puts my needs first. I put his needs first. For instance, some nights I want to cook him the 3 course meal with dessert, but I know that my body can't handle it. He sees that, and normally does something to ease my suffering, whether it's giving me a foot massage or even offering to cook dinner. I don't have to worry about myself and my needs, because I know as long as I communicate what I am feeling to him, he will take care of me. And I'd hope he feels the same. Yet in light of my friend's divorce, I don't think Nick would ask anything that I *can't* accomplish. He realizes my limitations and he's accepted them before we married. Now within the marriage, those limitations are there and he's not looking to change me but rather to grow old with me.

This open communication and the ability to put someone else in the forefront is what I say is the biggest success of our marriage. It also helps that we realize this is not a marriage of 2 people-- really Heavenly Father is involved also, and He will help us when we ask. I've felt that help. I've felt Nick's prayers for me and my health be answered repeatedly. I know that the only reason my back has not gone out in almost two years is because Nick is praying for it to be healthy. It is that type of love that helps us to bond together as a couple. I know he is my "lobster", as Phoebe from Friends would say. I only hope everyone is able to find theirs.

Friday, April 14, 2006

"I Don't Love Him For The Man He Is; I Love Him For The Man He Will Be"

My wife and I were talking this evening over dinner about some experiences we had at BYU as undergrads. A fascinating thing about our undergraduate days at BYU is that we never met there, even though we both studied politics at about the same time! When we get to heaven, I am going to review the record in my brain to see if I ever did set my eyes on her while there! :)

In any case, Annie reminisced about when she ran for vice-president of the BYUSA. We were talking about our marriage. I had told her that I generally am the man now that I always have been, fundamentally. God has refined me and I've matured, but in the way I treat others, I've remained generally the same. She has said she is very happy with who I am now. It had reminded her of the man who ran as president of BYUSA when she ran as his VP. One day she had talked to this man's girlfriend about him. Annie could tell the girlfriend was hesitant. Upon conversing further, the girlfriend said, as to why she is marrying him, "I don't love him for the man he is; I love him for the man he will be."

It struck both of us as a very interesting comment. If you can't like, or even love, the person who you are going to marry now, are you really going to actually get the person you think you will? It seems some people in the church get into marriage thinking that their spouse will improve come the afterlife.....but if there is no love now, there won't be any love then.

I didn't fall in love with the Annie that will be. I fell in love with the Annie that is. I didn't marry her for what she will be, but for what she is now. The great thing is that I know that I will continue improving, as will she, and the love we have now for each other will only grow.

It seems a big risk marrying someone for what you think they will be in the future.....it's probably better to try and fall in love wth who they are now.


Friday, September 16, 2005

Married Bliss

so it's been a while since we've posted on this blog. That's alright. It's all good. Life is great right now with Annie. We are happily married and living in the greatest city in America, New York City! It is a new place for me, with a new job and a new life, but I have transitioned into it pretty well. We'll try and keep up the info on this blog as much as we can with our busy schedules.


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

New York, New York

So it looks like my future with Annie will be in New York City rather than in New England. It is the best option out there for the both of us for this upcoming year. I can move down to New York and finish my degree there, while she completes one more year with her teaching job. I have felt somewhat reluctant with this move because now the uncertainty of no job is back, and I want to make sure that the Library Science degree I have paid into is not an investment done in vain. I am pushing this unease aside though, as the move feels right, I love Annie, and there are plenty of job opportunities in New York City. Plus I seem to be in the mood for change of late, as I resigned my profile from LDSLinkup, bought a new day pack, and shaved the beard off. And they are doing all sorts of changes here at Brown and I think a change of scenery will be good.


Thursday, April 14, 2005

Long Distance Relationship

Annie and I are in a long distance relationship, as I live in Rhode Island and she lives in New York...

do I recommend people do long distance relationships? Only if they are serious about it. The payoff, the reward for living apart so much, and not being as close to each other as you would want is the great assurance that you WILL be together soon enough, no longer to be 200 miles away from each other.

She is the light of my life and I am happy to get to marry her in August. What a glorious day that shall be!


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Twists & Turns of Life

Should we live in Rhode Island? Should we live in Manhattan? How do you consolidate two completely different lives into one family? I don't fully know the answer to this question, but I learn more everyday. The drama continues to ensue: from the family issues to the work issues, yet Nick & I continue to grow stronger and more in love.

He strengthens me on a daily basis. I hope that I give him as much as he gives me. Together we can accomplish so much. It's exciting just to think about it.

I love him dearly.


Illuminations on Life, Love, and Liberty

My dear fiancee also has created her own blog, (which has currently only one post as we just got it started yesterday). I figured since I linked my blog here, I'd link her new blog too. It shares her own thoughts about the topics she happens to think about. Enjoy.

  • Annie's Blog
  • Tuesday, April 12, 2005

    The Life of Nicolae Padigone

    Before I met Annie, I did have a blog of my own that I hadn't touched in some time. I am linking that blog here now for all to see. I thought about forgetting it, but I posted some nice things about my past there, and I didn't want to lose it...

    It is also an interesting look at how I viewed myself a year ago, a bit depressed and lonely. It is tough to be single in this world, and I can only hope and pray all singles out there find their love.

  • Nicolae Padigone
  • The Temple and other matters

    so it has been a busy, productive, and wonderful day today, albeit lacking in one thing: I have not seen my beautiful Annie in 9 days. I love her so, she is the light of my life. how so you may ask? I finally went to the Temple today, over ten years since I last went. That says something about the power and influence this woman has in my life. She has transformed me into more of the son of God I should be.

    The Temple was a wonderful experience. It has been long since I last experienced a good dose of peace, of calm, of a break from the evils of the world, from the tumultous driving to and fro, the haranguing, the constant abbrasiveness that is modern life.

    I also registered for my classes this summer, which opened up a new avenue for our planning for the wedding in August that I was not expecting, but welcomed heartily. I'll be taking two classes at Simmons, getting closer to that Library Science degree, and making it easier to move to New York in August when we are married. Also, with FAFSA having their fiscal year begin with summer classes, means I can get financial aid for one of those classes while Brown pays for the other. That is a good thing.

    And while I did not get to see my Annie, nor get to see her as often as I would like (daily), I did get to talk to her on the phone, an experience I enjoy.

    Finally, I want to say that I love Annie.


    To be or not to be that is the question

    Some other questions going through my head:
    When will Columbia realize Nick is the perfect librarian for a professional track there?
    Will I ever be able to breathe clearly again? How much medicine will I need?
    Why is there so much crap on tv? Where's all of the quality programming?

    Welcome to Nick and Annie's Blog!

    This is the beginning of an eternal blog about our lives. We hope you all enjoy and come often.